in Christ alone

on the plane ride over here, i read through five of the ten books i had stuffed into my suit case. and since i've been at the James Place, i haven't picked a single book up to read because i simply have not had the time (not complaining - LOVE being busy!!!)...and this evening i decided to stay home from an event in Jinja to have some quiet time.
some days - whether you're in Franklin, Tennessee or in Jinja, Uganda - you just need an evening of relaxation and reflection. i took a long, hot shower (thank you, Lord!) and ate some steamed veggies and drank a few glasses of fresh passion fruit juice. then i sat down with my Bible and A Praying Life (a fantastic book written by Paul E. Miller) and read out of each for several hours.
if you haven't read A Praying Life, i highly suggest you go do so! this book stays true to its title, explaining what it means and how to live a praying life.
as i was reading through chapter six, this text fell heavy on my heart...and i'd like to share it with you.
this part is actually a quote from another book called A Letter from Jesus Christ (next on my reading list!!!)...

i know those moods where you sit there utterly alone, pining, eaten up with unhappiness, in a pure state of grief. you don't move towards Me but desperately imagine that everything you have ever done has been utterly lost and forgotten. this near-despair and self-pity are actually a form of pride. what you think was a state of absolute security from which you've fallen was really trusting too much in your own strength and ability....what really ails you is that things simply haven't happened as you expected and wanted.
in fact, I don't want you to rely on your own strength and abilities and plans, but to distrust them and to distrust yourself, and to trust Me and no one and nothing else. as long as you rely entirely on yourself, you are bound to come to grief. you still have a most important lesson to learn: your own strength will no more help you to stand upright than propping yourself on a broken reed. you must not despair of Me. you may hope and trust in my absolutely. My mercy is infinite.

i think we can all agree that at one point in our lives, we have all been here. we've all experienced those moments of feeling hopeless and lost. i know i have! and i know that (even in this past month) the Lord has exposed how much of myself i trust in and the things i find my security in. it's so wrong! there is absolutely nothing we should base our identity in other than Jesus Christ!
it's sad to think that we try to find our self-worth in things we are good at, other people, tasks we accomplish, and so so much more. and when we do this, we put ourselves in a state of constantly being let down and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to grief.
and i can say personally, there is grief and disappointment when i try to stand on my own strength.
because without Christ, i am weak. i am ignorant. i will fail over and over again. i am insecure.
but when i fix my eyes on who i am in Christ, i am strong. i am humbled. i will prevail. i am secure.
there is a huge, huge difference seen and experienced when we live for the Lord, trusting and hoping in Him absolutely!
and on that note, i'm off to bed! church in the morning - will try to get some pictures....i'm so blessed to have found a church i connect with and feel at home in!
much love, my friends!!!

sweet memories

i apologize for the blurriness of this photo but....this lady is a very dear friend of mine! her name is Sylvia, and she is the teacher of the sewing classes here at the James Place. she is such a joy to be around and is always encouraging me with words of Truth! her smile is literally contageous. 

there is something about Sylvia that reminds me so much of my mom! 

maybe it's her passion and enjoyment she finds in sewing?! 

this is why i love Africa. meeting and becoming friends with beautiful souls who radiate light and life and love!

this evening Juliana and i took botas to Main Street (the nearby town area) to visit Sylvia in her shop! 

it was the perfect end to a great, great day....being surrounded by sewing machines, unfinished dresses and loads of fabrics....those of you who knew my mother know that today i had more than a few flashbacks!! 

remembering my mom, sitting in her rolling chair in her sewing room, singing her heart out as she sewed on a PoppyDip dress. ah, sweet memories! thank you, Jinja! thank you, Father God!!! 

to the school

the other day, i along with several of the Ugandan staff members (Joshua, Juliana and Irene) drove to another town to check in on three girls that Tina (HEAL's director) sponsors. 

the drive was just breath-taking....so much wide, open green spaces and picture-perfect skies!!! 

well pictures just dont do the view justice. God's handiwork is truly clear here in Uganda! 

anyways, we arrived at the school and were greeted by many children, all wearing matching school uniforms. 

the three girls, Whinnie, Joyce and Vivian came running with huge smiles and open arms. 

their story, along with their mother's story (Irene) is just beautiful!

i won't write about it on my blog, but i am happy to share it with you when i return! 

through grace, new mercies and the healing only Jesus can bring, Irene is now  a part of the staff at the James Place, her son, Marvin is in childcare and her three girls are being sponsored to recieve an amazing education!

HEAL is reaching out and changing the lives of not just the women in their program, but their families- children of all ages! 

and on the ride back to the James Place, i snapped this picture....talk about precious!!!

these are a few of my favorite things

this morning, Jackie said sadly, "Adi, you have only five more weeks here...don't you?" i honestly haven't even thought about how many days i have left here in Jinja. i haven't been counting. in fact, until now, i haven't even checked what day it is. and it's March already?! where is the time going....
i can't think about leaving.
instead, i'll jot down some of my favorite things i hear during my days at the James Place and then leave you (my dear readers) with these pictures of the sweetest, cutest baby girl you will ever meet....

"Auntie Adi, i love you!"
"swing me! even me!"
"this one (points at friend) is crying!"
"here is a flower for you!"
"Auntie Adi, come and see! come and see!"
"i have to susu (potty)!"
"this one is pinching me!"
"Auntie Adi, i want to swing!"
"here is a sticker for you!"
"Auntie Adi, swing me, and please!"
"thank you, teacher! thank you, teacher!"

just start reading

there is really nothing i love more than reading God's Word. really. what better way to spend my time than spending hours upon hours soaking up and studying Scripture?
i admit, there are times when the thought of sitting and reading my Bible isn't that appealing - i would rather be doing something else. and it's not that I don't love God - it's just that i'm the kind of person who can't stay still for too long. i fail all the time when i open my Bible and minutes later check my phone - then i find myself on facebook or replying to a text.
but i can tell you, reading your Bible is a matter of the heart. it's a wanting to know our Creator more.
and it's what He wants. He wants us to read all about Him. He wants us to grow closer to Him. He wants us to know how much He loves us.
there is something about sitting down in a quiet space and reading through a book in the Bible.
there is something about being surrounded by friends as we pass a Bible around, each reading one verse.
there is something about His Word that brings hope, healing, guild lines, convictions, grace and mercy and a knowing that you are more than what this world says you are.
you are Beloved. you are Chosen. you are adored by the God of the universe and everything in it.
i encourage each of you to go pick up your Bible and just start reading.
"let the word of Christ dwell in your richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom...." Colossians 3:16

under the weather

under the weather today - in two ways!! i woke up with a piercing headache and feeling really nauseous. if you know me, you know that there is nothing i hate more than throwing up!! i tried my best to talk myself out of being sick and continued with my morning routine - made my bed, got dressed, drank some coffee and ate some granola, made a lesson plan for my class and began cutting out yellow cunstruction paper sunshines for the class craft. 

and then it hit me. 

if i ever get a parasite, i pray it isnt worse than what i experienced this morning....thought i would never leave the toilet! then i had to rush upstairs to kneel at yet another potty and threw up my breakfast. yay. 

i havent thrown up in so long - really i almost started crying. tried not to be dramatic but i hate throwing up!!! 

Trey said i could take the day off and try to knock out the sickness with sleep. 

i was almost asleep when Jackie and Jennifer (two of the staff members and two of my sweetest friends) came into my room and knelt beside my bed and prayed healing over me. 

a few hours passed, and i woke feeling refreshed and not nauseous at all - PRAISE THE LORD!!!

went outside and got completely soaked by the rain walking to the gecko house (pictured above) where the little heads of my class popped up and they all shouted in unison, "Auntie Adi! look! it's our Auntie Adi!!!" and well that just melted my heart. 

now it's evening time and it's still raining...but that's okay! im well again and blessed beyond what i can say! 

a dream

"you know what i wish?" asked Juliana (the head of the staff here at the James' Place) "i wish you can stay the whole year here - that would be wonderful - teaching these children. they are learning so much. even after they leave the preschool, they are singing the songs you teach them and remembering the things you tell them. they are learning a great deal from you, Adi." 

it blows me away that the Lord has people say things like this at just the right times. 

today was just one of those days - the Bible story wasn't getting through to my class, the craft was one big gluey, sticky mess, the kids wouldn't sing along to our songs. i was feeling discouraged and like nothing was going right.

then Juliana says this to me and it brought a smile to my face.

i LOVE teaching. and whether it's a good day or a bad day, i am encouraged and excited for the next day and what it brings.

there is a dream i have tucked away in the back of my mind - and it's making its way to my heart. 

i can see myself starting a school here (in Africa). a school that focuses on education through the joy of Jesus. i want to see more kids here being taught that way.

my class is absorbing so much through creative learning...

writing A through Z, play-pretending our way through Bible stories, using flashcards for shapes and numbers, many a craft project, etc, etc, etc.....

my favorite time of the day!

there are so many parts that make up a day here at the James' Place....

i think that my favorite of all is right after we feed the kids their lunch-

we pull out the straw mats and bright colored wash tubs and place them on the grass under the hot, hot sun....then one by one, the littles get undressed and covered in soapy water- sometimes they laugh, sometimes they scream!

either way, it's my favorite time of the day- it's just a beautiful thing to bathe these precious babies- to see their dirty little hands and faces gleam with water and oil and to get to dress them into fresh changes of clothes. 

then i get the priveledge to carry each and every one to the Gecko House (the house on the compound where they take naps)! somedays it's so hot out, i am completely off balance and nearly trip carrying the kids. sometimes my arms feel like they're growing a few new muscles!

but getting the chance to hold each child, sing a little song or simply say "auntie Adi loves you so much" means the world to me. 

yes, this is my favorite time of the day!

the Spirit intercedes for us

today Rebecca and i went to Masese to lead one of the women's Bible study groups. when we arrived at the big tree at the edge of the slums (where we usually meet the women), not a single one was there. we walked a ways into the community to find out why nobody had shown up for study. we were told that the women were grieving. a young girl had died that morning when she was giving birth to her baby. there was also another young woman who had lost her son, hours after he was born.
there is so much pain happening in Masese right now.
Rebecca and i were led into a home by Betty, one of my dear friends who lives in this part of Masese. the room was hot and dark, with at least a dozen women sitting on the floor against the walls. in the center of the room was a body covered from head to toe with a dirty sheet. at first, i thought that this was the girl who had lost her baby. i immediately thought she was mourning the death of her child and i  placed my hand on her head, asking if she was asleep. when Rebecca answered me that she was dead, i burst into tears - realizing that this was the young girl who had died during childbirth. there was an older woman kneeling beside the girl's body, and i knew that this was the mother. we embraced each other and i began praying aloud.
my eyes were so swollen from crying i could barely see as we walked to another home not far from the one we had just left. inside we found a broken-hearted mother. she sat on her twin mattress bed and told us the story of losing her baby. she had prayed for a son. she was going to name him Gabriel. she had prepared all new baby clothes and blankets for him; now they have been stuffed in a bag that is hanging on the wall. when she told me that her only prayer is that her baby is in heaven - i made that my prayer too.
we sat there, crying and praying and holding each other. i shared about losing my mom. Rebecca told us of losing her grandmother, who was like a mother to her. we were bearing one another's burdens, sharing in each other's pain.
and then i pictured heaven.
can you imagine?....this baby, Rebecca's grandmother, this child's mother, my mother....all the lost loved ones together forever in Paradise with Jesus. amazing.
when we left Masese, i told Rebecca that i didn't even know what i had said while i was praying for these women. she responded saying that the Holy Spirit was speaking for me, that all i said was what Jesus would have said.
today was incredibly hard for me - to be a part of this kind of suffering. to hear the cries of a woman begging God to bring back her baby. to sit next to a mother mourning over her daughter, who was only my age.
i don't think i could have been able to speak during these moments if i didn't have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside me. my heart was shattered for these women and God knew it. and when words could not come, He spoke through me, breathing hope and life and peace into the circumstances.
continue lifting us up in your prayers...

Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26

raw and real

i don't know what it is about this place - Africa in general.

Jinja and Ethiopia are so different, but there is one thing they share without a doubt.
something about these places just draw me closer to the Lord.

i am realizing how dependent i am on the known- how safe and comfortable home has become and i have lost sight of how much i really, really need Jesus. 
every morning i wake excited for the day. (almost every day) i reach a breaking point where i just feeling like giving up and going home. every time we drive through a village and i see poverty, my heart aches. when i hear yet another story of pain, suffering, loss and then the praising of Jesus's name - i can't help but drop my jaw in awe. everything here is so simple and raw and alive.
my soul feels exposed here; and even though it is sometimes painful and puts me in a vulnerable place, i love it! i love being real with people and having meaningful, heartfelt conversations about life and the life to come. i love feeling hurt and alone and running into the arms of my heavenly Father. i love spending day after day with children who love Jesus. i love getting covered in dirt and sweat and have learned to deeply appreciate a shower at the end of the day. i love being so completely busy during the day that i can't catch my breath. i love having nothing to do and nowhere to be and simply reading through the Scriptures for a few hours every night.
it's in these times when i am closest to my Savior. when nothing else matters. nothing. Jesus is my everything and my life belongs to Him. and it's in these moments when all my fears and concerns for my future fade away - and all i can see is God's provision and His mercies covering me all the days of my life. 

a huge thank you to every single one of you who helped me get here- i believe in the power of prayer and how God loves it when we talk to Him! He hears us and answers. and right now this is my answer- to trust in Him! to let go and live in the here and now and keep my eyes fixed on Jesus! everything else will follow. 

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication make your requests be made known to God, and the peace that surpasses all understanding will gaurd your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. so whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. what you have learned and received and heard and seen- practice these things and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:6-9